Mamaw Beas has always been a huge part of our lives. She was the one who took care of us when we were sick and mom had to go to work. She would get us where we needed to be when there were three of us living at hom and schedules collided. She would bring over a bucket of vegetable soup for dinner on the nights when she knew there just wouldn't be time for mom to get anything on the table and still get us where we needed to be for the evening. And on Sundays after church, we would spend the afternoons there...eating, gardening, playing baseball, and laying out in the yard under the big shade tree while she and papaw sat in the swing.
I can remember being in the kitchen with mamaw where she always had something fun to do. We would bake...or she would bake and I would sample. She would let me use her "tube paints" which was so exciting for me...I don't even know if you can still get those today. I remember she had a check box with markers in them that I thought was so special...and how I longed to have a set like that of my own. But they were something special to play with at her house. She would give us scraps of fabric and we would make Barbie clothes...from dresses to these hideous green fur coats...our Barbies were dressed to the nines thanks to Mamaw Beas!
I remember sleeping at her house, and her sheets always felt and smelled so good. I'm not sure why...maybe just because they smelled like her house. I can remember burying my head in a pillow at her house and just breathing in that smell...I an remember it like it was yesterday.
As I got older, I remember shopping with Mamaw. And shopping...and shopping. Literally...until she had outshopped me. We used to go into the mall, and she would take off leaving us behind and say, "May the best shopper win!" To this day, when I go shopping with my sister, we say that as we part ways in the store. It's really only been in the past few years that Mamaw has slowed down and not been able to shop like she used to.
When I found out I was pregnant with a little girl, there was no doubt that she would be named after Mamaw Beas...Mary Margaret Bullock Beasley. And so it was, on August 8, 2001, we welcomed Maggie to our family. Her great grandmother's namesake. And Mamaw just beamed with pride when we told her what we planned to name her first great granddaughter. To this day, when she introduces Maggie, she is sure to include that Maggie is her namesake. And Maggie looked, as a baby, much like my grandma's baby pictures.
I've seen Mamaw age since she lost Papaw in November. I guess that happens...when you lose someone you have literally spent over half of your life with...lived through wars and lost a child and raised three children with. I guess when you lose someone like that, you lose a part of yourself...and probably some of your will to pursue life. I know she misses him...I know she thinks of how long she may have to go on without him. But I also know she lives for her great grandchildren. I think when you've lived 89 years, and lost the one you love more than anyone else...you have the right to wonder every now and again when you might get to finish your time here and join him for eternity...I think you've earned it.
But for now, I want to wish Mamaw Beas a happy 89th birthday. When I was little, she used to dedicate a song to me each year on the radio for my birthday. I know they don't really do that anymore...but if they did...I would dedicate it back to her. Imagine you could hear Ricky Skaggs, with his bluegrass voice...singing...
"I wouldn't change you if I could. I love you as you are.
You're all that I would wish for if I wished upon a star.
An angel sent from heaven. You're everything that's good.
You're perfect just the way you are. I wouldn't change you if I could..."
I love you, Mamaw Beas. Happy Birthday...
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