I've been under the weather this week. Not really "sick". Just that feeling of blech...I don't feeeel good. I go to work, I go home, I hit the couch, and I do the bare minimum when I get home at night. It's not fun. It's not who I like to be. But this week, at least, it's me. My kids know I haven't been feeling great, but I try not to complain too much to them. After all, what are they really going to do about it, right? But the other night, I was laying in bed, really feeling miserable when Carter walked in. He had a cup in his hand. He sets it down on my nightstand, and says, "I thought this might help." He kisses my forehead and leaves the room. In the cup is about two thirds full of water with a couple of ice cubes floating at the top. I didn't ask for it. He thought of it...and thought it might help. He genuinely is a great, great kid. He makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes, but his heart is like the size of New York. He really cares about other people and how they are feeling. The problem is getting other people to know that.
He was being bullied on the bus, and I spoke to the principal about it. It all worked out ok, but what I want to say to her is, "You don't know him. He's not the kind of kid that would bully someone." I sound like such a mom when I say that. But he really isn't that kid. He doesn't want to hurt someone else. How many 160 pound 5th graders do you know who play football and get in trouble because they don't want to hit??? You know what he tells me?? "Mom, I don't want to hurt him." It drives me crazy, but at the same time, how do you not love that about him??
And when I look at him, I think, "How could anyone want to bully him or not think he is the cutest thing that ever walked the face of this planet??" He's freaking adorable! Am I biased? Yeah, probably. But, come on, people...I'm not blind. He's a cute kid, I don't care who you are!
OK...enough already. The point is, I love my son. He is 11. He has an attitude...sometimes. He can be mouthy...sometimes. He forgets to clean his room...sometim...OK, most of the time. But in those moments when he really shines, does it really matter? No. It makes me realize that deep down, under all that pre-teenage wasteland, there's a little boy growing into a wonderful man. A man who someday is going to be a wonderful husband and a phenomenal father...because he has that underlying natural instinct to care. And that, in a nutshell, melts his mother's heart.
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